Lessons in Selflessness: The Benedictines and Breakfast

Selflessness is pretty important to following Jesus. Not the most important thing, certainly. C.S. Lewis was right about that. But I still think it is fairly important. I mean how would we make sense of such statements of Jesus, "He who loses his life will find it..." without some sense of selflessness. Or how about John the Baptist's famous proclamation, "He must increase, I must decrease"?

So how do we grow in selflessness? I've got two very practical suggestions ...

One, try spending some time at a Benedictine monastery. I get up to St. Augustine's Retreat House as often as possible. They're a Benedictine Lutheran Retreat House in Oxford, MI. Every day, seven times a day, the residents and guests at St. Augustine's (and all Benedictine communities) engage in fixed-hour prayer. And this is how it encourages selflessness. There is, of course, the simple fact that at those times you have to stop doing what you were doing and go pray with the community. Then there is the practice of the prayer. Everyone is encouraged to pray at the same time, in the same way, at the same pace. Also, guests are encouraged to chant the psalms in such a way that they are not heard above the community. In other words, it isn't about you and how you sound, it is about the community and how they sound. I find this to be a very refreshing lesson in selflessness.

The other lesson is even more practical. Closer to home, you might say. Currently, my greatest tutor in selflessness is breakfast. At breakfast time, my preference would be to sit and read and listen to baroque classical music. Or maybe just casually check my email before a busy day at work. Or maybe have a lively conversation about some interesting topic. Maybe you've already guessed the punchline. See, I'm part of the Pool Party - three kids under five and a beautiful and engaging wife. Rather than relaxing, most breakfasts are an exercise in logistics management and chaos theory and sharing my fruit bar with the Forager of the Week. Like singing at St. Augustine's, the point is not about what I want, but what is best for the community. And that usually means my email can wait.